Very few things can have long-term ramifications on a relationship, none more so than continuous frustrating experiences in the bedroom. Up until fairly recently, discussing these issues have been cloaked in shame, and it’s been hard for couples to find a way to talk about them in a healthy, efficient manner. Thankfully, attitudes have changed, but it can still be difficult to tackle the topic with the necessary amount of empathy and transparency.

There are quite a few resources available now both online and off in the form of books, in-person therapy devoted to sexual health, and so on, to help you deal with the most sensitive issues that come up. If you’re struggling in the bedroom, the following are a few tips on how to solve some of the most common frustrations.

Emotional Disconnect
Intimacy between a couple is not just about physical contact, it also encompasses emotional connection. Unsurprisingly, couples who are not aware of each other’s emotions or sensitivities tend to have a hard time in the bedroom. While it may feel like an insurmountable task, there are ways to bring back the friendship element into your relationship, which will inevitably make things easier to deal with sexually. Once a week, go out on a date or arrange a movie night at home. Make sure to spend time together and try to bond - this is key if you’d like things to get back to normal in all aspects of your relationship.

Not Lasting Long Enough
One of the problems that come up consistently between couples is the inability of a male partner to last a long time in bed. While relatively benign of course, it’s a hurtful situation that negatively impacts men and their self-esteem more than they would like to admit. There are a few handy resources out there, amongst them this blog post explaining the different ways to navigate a difficult situation by providing clear solutions that won’t leave you in the lurch. It could be the result of issues as disparate as high-stress levels, drinking too much, or a general lack of experience. These could all be remedied.

Boredom
Nothing can ring the death knell for a healthy sexual relationship in the bedroom more than boredom. Naturally, each person has a different vision of what an intimate relationship entails, and it can be hard to find a meeting point. This disconnect often leads to frustration and miscommunication. The only way to combat this is by being open to experimenting and keeping an open mind. It also means that if one person in the relationship does not find pleasure in a particular act, then it would only be fair to clearly voice these concerns, while also working hard to find a middle ground. While this isn’t always an easy task, it’s necessary to keep things open in a relationship.

Work on Communication
Not to put too fine a point on it but keeping the lines of communication open in a relationship is an absolute must, especially when trying to keep sexual problems and frustrations at bay. Otherwise, you will have created a breeding ground for resentment and alienation within the relationship. Communication is incredibly important when it comes to issues of sex and sexual preferences - otherwise, everything will remain clouded in silence and discomfort for both parties.



Plan in Advance
While penciling in a date and time for sex might seem a bit strange and deeply unromantic, it might be a necessity depending upon your situation. For many couples with hectic schedules and or caught up in their web of unending tasks, piling debt, endless worries about kids, if you have them - well, it doesn’t take a genius to know that this will inevitably affect things in the bedroom. It might be hard to admit, but spontaneous sex might not happen, especially when you rarely find yourselves at home at the same time. The easiest workaround for this problem is to simply schedule a date that works for both of you. What the approach lacks for in romance it more than makes up for by simply giving you both something to look forward to.

When all is said and done, there are two possible worst-case scenarios you might as well prepare yourself for: one, you might realize that your partner simply does not have as high a sex drive as you, which you can learn to accept knowing that this is totally normal. Two, if none of these tips work, you can always secure the assistance of a sex therapist who will be able to advise you on the next steps to take. Regardless of the situation, know that all the issues are workable, and nothing can’t be solved without a bit of persistence.